SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, beautiful beings. Welcome back to Leadership by Design Podcast. I'm your host as always, Karina Apologia Trip, and today I want to bring yet another layer to the topic of your business success and today, specifically the capacity to receive money that's mostly imprinted in your nervous system before the age of seven. And to start with, I have a very specific journey to go through in regards to money. I have this strength of management in BG5 language and in human design. This is called the money line, the money channel 2145. And my unconscious son, my unconscious core essence, is in gate 45, which is all about what we have and what we don't have. And it's all about resources and education. I'm born on the cross of rulership. So this is a big theme for unfolding of my purpose on this earth. And in general, the gate 45 is the main voice, the one voice of the tribe. And this is the queen or king. So this is an archetype and hopefully the embodiment of this abundance, abundance of resources, abundance of knowledge. And in my case, gate 45 is imprinted with the sixth line. We all have this six lines: one, two, three, four, five, and mine is in line six. And this line is all about three distinctive phases in your life. And the expression of this energy will go through those phases. In my case, this is with resources and money. So I almost have this three lives in one life in regards to resources and money. And this is the lesson, this is the journey I'm going on, so that in the future, mostly after 50, I can be a true embodiment of this path with the lessons learned and the wisdom to share in authenticity. Because 6-9 is all about being authentic and becoming this role model, not from the place, oh look at me. It's more like, oh shit, I'm on this human journey and I make mistakes and I am like giving up and then I am standing up and this is how you do life, right? And it doesn't mean again that before 50 there is no transformation, that only after 50, you are as a sixth line can achieve this pinnacle, that there is no heroes' journey and there is no wins. There are many, many wins, and it's very exciting and sometimes also very scary journey. But for me, this was the big indicator that most of my money stories, most of my money imprints, and the relationship I have with money that influences my current reality with money are on a subconscious level because they're on the design, the red side in my chart, not my conscious personality black side. And that information from the human design perspective is very useful because you know, most of us we have subconscious patterns with different things in life, money included, and in the first seven years of our life, we may pick up things that we are not aware of. So all of us have subconscious imprints with money. But in my case, this journey of unbecoming and becoming and the realizations that come from this journey always come to me as a surprise over time. And because of that, I knew that I need to go back to my body signals instead of trying to do mindset work on money or talk with my coach or rationalize this. Uh, I needed to really focus on something that is unconscious because that's the place in my chart where the money story lies. So, long story short, I knew that I needed to do this subconscious work in my nervous system. And you know, nervous system work was great, but also not enough. So I incorporated somatic parts work that were precisely what I needed to unlock the unconscious stories, unconscious images, unconscious sensations that were imprinting my relationship with money. So those images and those clues that come up in our body, they can come up through, as I said, sensations, they can come up with minds' eyes, uh, your like visualization happens, or you may hear something. All depends on how you receive those messages based on you know your unique wiring. But in general, when you incorporate the tool like EFS, which is the internal family system methodology, you may have the conversations, you may go into the mental realm to resolve so-called conflict between parts of you. But I am also trained in somatic parts work, which is based on EFS, but it's based on the body signals, which often give you a clue where to even start conversations with your parts. So basically, you pay close attention how your body reacts to triggers, not only the negative but also positive triggers, like receiving money in your business. For me, what happened with money is that the moment, let's say, I got a stripe notification that somebody bought my program or somebody paid me for, let's say, the ongoing coaching, like I would receive money from my clients, I would get this pit in my stomach and this tightening in my chest, and I just couldn't fully receive this money, even though my mind was happy, and my body, I started to pay attention and just got into, you know, like closing myself off, and it felt very heavy. And that was the pattern for a very, very long time, and it's still present to some degree. I looked at this and worked with this pattern somatically, and certain images and stories showed up for me, and they're always evolving. There is another layer, but one story, one memory that showed up for me through doing parts work was the image of a postman in the 90s in the village in Poland. It was the time where we just started to be a democratic country. It was after years of war and then communism, and there was so much confusion with money. People were really poor, and new financial systems started to take root, but it was very bad. Poland was just starting to recover economically, slowly built a new economy. So, of course, that was big inflation, and in general, it was crazy times. And because of that reality, my parents were not rich at all. I would say we were quite poor. And at the time, my mom and my dad didn't work, they received pension. And my mom was young, but she had a slight disability that prevented her from working, so she basically stayed home and took care of the house. And my dad was 36 years older than my mom, which meant that when I was born, he was 67. And of course, that was a big age difference. So when I was between the time I was born and seven, my dad was already quite sick and of course older. And my mom had to do all the typical things like you know, going out, doing groceries, in general, like spending the money. So, as you remember, I started a story with the image of a postman. So at that time, you received money once per month to your door through the postman. So the postman would bring it, and of course, that was the time. Okay, now we can do big groceries, we can cook something nicer. And the pattern was that my mom would take me with her to do groceries to another village, bigger village. And through that adventure, I always treated it as kind of like adventure, especially in the beginning. We would go for ice cream, my mom would buy some fun things, we would enjoy our time buying stuff, then she would do, you know, the normal food groceries for the house. And when we would come home, my dad would see how much money was spent on the things he thought weren't necessary. And now I when I look at this and I hear stories, I do believe they were not necessary, especially looking at the situation, financial situation we are in. And there would be a lot of fights, a lot of screaming. And that was my memory, that was my imprint, and subconsciously I took that in. And the story, of course, showed up later in my body, in my reaction to money. Because for me, when we would come back home and the fight started, it meant to this little girl that when money arrives, there is danger. We receive something that should be positive, but it creates problems. Money causes rupture in relationships. Money causes me to not have safety. Money causes big upset and also big cycles of shame. This realization was such a huge aha moment for me through connecting with my parts and feeling the sensations in my body when I received payments from my clients. Even when I expected the payment, I would be sitting there and suddenly this big stomach crump, this pain would show up. The tightening of my chest. I would brace, something was off, I didn't feel safe. And only through this grace of knowing, connecting deeply, and understanding also my human design, I knew that this story is something I am here to relive, I'm here to transform, I'm here to alchemize in my own body, and it's not something that I am a victim of. This nervous system imprint can be transmuted in your body. It can be challenged and formed, but it cannot be worked through with a typical money mindset work or just cookie-cutter strategies. It needed to be resolved at the level where fundamentally money meant incredible danger. Money meant I was not safe. Money meant there was no peace. And my conscious mind could not fathom that this is the story, subconscious story that my body carries. Money means safety on the conscious level. We want money because of the safety it brings fundamentally. But if you have different imprints, if you have different stories, this is where you need to go to resolve them. And of course, you can do this with shadow work, you can do this with many other tools that are there. But I've noticed that specifically doing somatic parts work was incredible because it helped me to show that part that I see you, that you are not alone anymore. There is a certain sequence of the things that you can do to help this part to feel more resolved and feel safer to express also their wisdom and their gifts. My friend, let me pause this episode for just a moment to invite you into a little fun experiment. This podcast is still a wee one, and I so deeply desire to spread my work as far as I can. If you love this show, please rate it and review it on Apple Podcast, or if you are listening on Spotify, simply rate it and leave a comment under your favorite episode. As a thank you, I will send you my living your design self-study program. All you need to do is email me a screenshot at contact at carinapolloniatrip.com with the subject line podcast. You will find the email in the show notes. And once you do, you will get access to Google Drive with 10 modules covering the foundations of the human design system. About 15 hours of content to support your deconditioning and awakening journey. Inside, I cover all the types, strategies, authorities, and also the nine centers in depth. As you know, I work with business owners through the BG5 system, but I'm also officially certified as a living your design guide. And this program is the most important step if you truly desire to make decisions from your authentic truth. This gift may shift or change in the future, but for now I want to make this work available to as many of you as possible and to support my community. So if you want to support me as well and you truly enjoy this show, let's do it. Now, let's go back to the episode. And here's the truth about like my journey, specifically talking about my unconscious money gate, the 45 in line six. Rauru Husso, the founder of Human Design, described it in the way that really felt resonant to my own experience. That for the people who carry this frequency, no matter if you are the poorest or the richest, it doesn't make any difference because resources and the way we think about resources can always be mutated and changed. And six lines bring this mutation and change to any topic that they carry the six line in their chart. And that's what I lived with money. That was that was my story. I can receive abundance, but then I would immediately spend it because money in close proximity meant I am waiting for the rupture in my relationships, I am waiting for the danger. The money are in, it was very uncomfortable to sit with. It was uncomfortable to receive. And when I did receive it, it meant danger, right? So I wanted to get rid of it as soon as I could, not on the conscious level, not at all. And to give you an example, the way my dad spent money on me wasn't on so-called kid stuff or pleasurable things. He actually invested in my education. He wanted me to have extra English lessons because for some reason he said that English will be so important to you. Now I know when I moved countries, and mostly I work with clients from English speaking countries, that's really interesting. And you know, in my adulthood, I repeated the same pattern. I spent all of my money on trainings, education, investing in my business, investing in mentorships, having certifications, going for years-long programs like with human design or BG5. This is the same model I absorbed. Because spending on frivolous things was something to be ashamed of. And the truth is that for the six-line beings, if you are listening and you have six-line in your profile, before 40, not 30, 40, we still in that third-line trial and error phase. I am 35. And some of you may be like, no, when you are 30, you climb on so-called roof. But remember, roof phase is a whole 20 years, and the first half of this phase, it's all about healing, licking your wounds, starting to establish yourself more, but you still experience a little bit of this trial and error process to a lesser degree, but you have like aftermath of those patterns. They are not just immediately disappear from your nervous system when you are 29 and you reach your Saturn return. Even during this time, between 30 and 40, you still carry objectivity and quality of the six line, but there are still some lessons to be learned. You still kind of like, you know, go in circles, you still experiment. And in my journey at this age, I can receive more money now. I feel safer with money. I am not that little girl from a poor family anymore. But when it comes to truly accumulating wealth, real wealth, the story is unfolding. It's still there to go through. It's not something to achieve, but rather live and share with others my journey, my realizations, my so-called mistakes. And that's what all six lines can really do is to say, I'm human like you, let me tell you a story. And this money work is the work I keep doing on myself. This is not something that you do just once and it's fixed. Of course, this is a continuation of devoted practices connecting with your body and bringing more safety, pleasure, joy, and expansion in relationship with money. So, my question for you today is to ask yourself how did this little girl or little boy before the age of seven think about money? What stories did you hear? And look first at your current relationship with money, maybe from a conscious standpoint, like what kind of beliefs do you have? But that's just one layer. Observe your body because your mind can tell you, oh wow, you just received 5k in a day, that's awesome. But if part of your body is bracing or closing off, that may be an important clue that you normally miss, and it's maybe the thing that prevents you from receiving more in your business. And I hope that was helpful and inspired to pay close attention to your body in relationship with money. And if you are curious about other surprising ways how certain hidden things may prevent you from achieving success you wish you would have, I invite you to listen to my previous two episodes on that topic. And I will talk to you next time.